Breaking up with death

Dear death,

We’ve had a long-standing Friends with Benefits relationship. I don’t really like you, you don’t really like me, but we both got something out of the deal. You fucked with my head for fun, and I got the peace and comfort your presence brought when I was so alone in the world. My relationship status with you: it’s complicated. We’ve danced an intricate dance for a lifetime, usually you pushing and me pulling, sometimes me pushing and you pulling away. You’ve been my greatest lover and best friend. That’s why it hurts so much to tell you I’m breaking up with you. It breaks my heart to let you go because I feel this great emptiness in my life without you. The emptiness of having to choose to be alive, the sadness of not having you to turn to when I have nobody else. And yet, this relationship has to end. I’d like to say it’s not you, it’s me, but that’s not true. It really is you. Life is scary, but it offers me so much you can’t. You offer me non-existence well life offers me the chance to exist, to be free, to feel something, anything… even if it hurts. Besides there’s somebody else. I’ve been cheating on you. I started loving myself more than you. There will always be a part of me that loves you, that thinks about you longingly, but it’s time to move on with our lives and see other people. I wish you the best in whatever you pursue in life and, I say this in the nicest way possible, I hope I don’t see you for a very long time.

Regards,

Asa

In a relationship with life since 2019
Relationship status: it’s complicated