Dark, endless nights. Desperately seeking sleep, but it never comes. Words and images rush my mind, things I buried so deep inside me I forgot they existed. I wonder if they will ever end, like toxic substances being endlessly vomited up, purging my soul.
The killing of blackness and whiteness. The sharp edges soften, colors emerge from the starkness, beams of light shine through. Run against the storm.
Stand against tyranny. Looking the demons in the face, taking a stand. Shouting back the truth in response to their whispered lies. Anger turns my hands to fists, walking through the halls of my mind. Looking them in the face with my head held high, shamelessly smiling with smugness on my face while tears flow from my eyes. Tearing the veils and curtains down with brutal force, exposing with light the secrets they kept, their smallness and weakness can no longer imprison me.
Teaching others to stand and fight is the only way our struggle survives. Through the smoke and mirrors of my loneliness, of my aloneness, I see others. Their faces turned down, their voices ripped from their throats. “Be free,” I say to each one. Until we are all free, I will not rest.
The Journey of Asa, Healing from Dissociative Identity Disorder 