The Unknown

So many things are unknown, so many things are up in the air. I wish it bothered me more, as if it would make me more human to be upset, but it doesn’t. I’m fine with things not working out for now, I’m happy and at peace wherever I am. My home was a cage for a portion of my life, being at a shelter seems like a resort. I could wish I had answers, but my life is so full of unanswered questions that this feels like the norm.

I thought about God this morning, about how people seem so sure about their beliefs, but I almost delight in the fact that I don’t know the nature of God or reality. I’m toying with the idea of calling myself an agnostic Buddhist, the agnostic part referring to the fact that as much as I try to wrap my head around it, I don’t know and will never know. The unsurity of it all is strangely comforting, I live for the pursuit of the unknown. This current situation with housing seems like just a small unknown in the grand scheme of cosmic reality. How could I be bothered by such a small unknown when the universe is unknown and life is unknown?