Letter to brainwashed parts of me

Dear brainwashed parts,

At the age of five, I was tortured and brainwashed to be a programmed slave. I’ve spent my entire life fighting that, recovering from that, making sense of it. As I finally reach a point in my healing where I feel free from the abuse, I’m left feeling a pain inside that feels indescribable. The pain I feel is the hatred and bitterness I hold for that 5 year old girl that was me.

Sometimes I see that little girl in the mirror, with tear-stained cheeks, and long, knotted blond hair. She wonders what she ever did to deserve the abuse. I’d like for to know that there’s nothing she did to deserve her abuse, nor is there anything she could have done to stop it. I’d like for her to know, that if I was ever angry at her or blamed her for any of that, that I’m sorry, because I was wrong.

As I sit here now, holding that little girl who looks just like me, wiping away her tears, I’d like her to know now that she is safe, and I will never let a human being hurt her again. She always deserved better, and deserves better now.

Love,

Asa