Letter to programming

Dear programming,

I’ve spent my life obeying you. Commands given to me by abusers who brainwashed me and turn me into a slave at the age of 5. Because of you, I lived in places I never would have chosen for myself. Because of you, I was forced to engage in behavior I wish I could erase from my mind. Because of you, I never had a choice until now.

I sit here today, still fighting you with every ounce of strength I have in me. When I don’t obey, I feel sick, horrible pain, and weak, and yet, I choose to disobey every time. I choose today to be free rather than forced to live a life that is not my own. Regardless of what life gives me, regardless of the future that comes my way, it belongs to me, not you. Whatever I have to do to fight you is worth it in the end.

A part of me is terrified of my life without you. Part of me wonders if I will be okay or even happy again, but at least I’ll know that you no longer control me, and that makes all this worth it in the end.

Goodbye and good riddance,

Asa