Letter to Shame

Dear Shame,

I first met you when I was young child. You are introduced to me by people in my life who are supposed to love me, supposed to care. Instead they abandoned me and left me with you. If there’s anything I can say about you, you are faithful. In all the years we’ve been together you’ve never left my side. You greet me every morning upon awakening and hold me every night in a tight embrace as I fall asleep.

I’ve talked with you many times over the years, sharing my deep pain as you listen intently to every word. After finishing, you nodded your head in agreement as I told you what a worthless piece of shit I was.

I noticed our relationship changed one day not too long ago. I finished sharing my secrets with you this time by saying, “maybe it’s not my fault and I’m okay the way I am.” “Lies!” you screamed and slapped me on the face so hard I almost fell over. “You will never be good enough for anyone but me,” you said, “you belong to me.” It was that day that I realized I deserved better, and you were the worthless piece of shit.

As I write this letter, I am terrified of what my life will look like without you and I wonder if anyone will ever hold me the way you have. On the long, cold nights without you, my heart will ache for you, but I will wrap a blanket around me and tell myself that I am better off, that I always deserved to be truly loved for who I am, and for now that love will have to come from my own heart.

Regards,

Asa